10 Ways to help your child grow into a well adjusted adult at their own pace.

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“Let your children test their wings. They may not be eagles, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t soar free. C.J. Milbrandt



Wow, only 10 ways to help your child grow into a well adjusted adult at their own pace? I have to be honest, I did not always feel that way, and didn’t know the right way to help my children grow. 

I had kids later on in life, my first at 35, my second at 37, and my third at 41. Needless to say, I was a helicopter parent. Not something I’m proud of according to today’s standards. But check out my beautiful family on my About Tonie page.

Let me tell you a little “ bit “of my background. I was born with a handicap and was raised in a very strict Italian Catholic family. At 27 [still living at home] I had an 11:00 curfew.  Get the picture why I was a helicopter mama?

Fast forward to my kids now adults. My 1st always wanted to be a chef so off he went to the Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park, NY. Close enough to come home when he wanted. My 3rd followed my footsteps into education.

However, my second child’s 1st choice was to join the coast guard, but it was right after 9/11 and I begged him not to. His second choice was to be a mechanic….hmmmm…I had other plans for him. I said he HAD to go to college!

4 years later and still no degree he quit. He did however, get a great job as a vet tech and worked for a veterinarian for almost 10 years. Got married, started a family, and realized unless he went back to school certainly wouldn’t make enough money to raise a family.

One day I got a call from him that started out, “Mom, don’t get upset, but I quit my job!” “ Ok, now what?’ He went back to school and got a degree in mechanics [ which he had wanted to do 10 years ago]. He now is a long shore man on the piers in Newark, has great benefits and making more money than imaginable!

But that’s not the point of my story.

 And I thank God my kids turned out despite my hovering.?

I shared a bit more for new moms under my

Parent Tips page 

So my friends between research and my own life experiences with my kids that I offer you the following advice should you care to take it. [smile ]

I’ve tried to narrow this list down to 10 Ways to help your child grow and be happy.?


1. You should try to motivate them at an early age to seek out their own interests.

2. Encourage them to think for themselves.

3. Offer several activity choices to see what direction they choose.

4. Allow your child the exposure to new, different things and stimulus.

5. Guide them if you need to, but allow them to guide themselves by following their own interests.

6. The key word is exposure. Allow your child to explore the world around them, explain to them how different jobs are done.

7. I’ve noticed my son and his wife giving my grandkids opportunities to try thing they seem interested in. They don’t make them feel as if they’ve disappointed him if they decide it’s not for them.

8. Some part of it is learning how to just leave them alone. Children are naturally curious and follow all kinds of interests that they discover on their own. To this I would say let them “try.”

9. A good way to encourage your child it to just support them when they show an interest in something.

As they get older just love them unconditionally. With Your love they can  pursue their own passions on their own time table.


But alas, a lucky one when my middle child finally found his passion and is living happily ever after. ?




I also found this interesting  article on “How to Raise Happy Kids: 10 Steps Backed by Science”.